📘 PERFCT — Resource Guide

Dates: January 4th - January 25th, 2026

Subtitle: God’s love isn’t built on our lies.

Key Passages:

• 2 Samuel 13:1–20; Psalm 51
  
  
• Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:21–33
  
  
• Colossians 3:20–21
  
  
• Proverbs 22:6; Matthew 18:1–6

Formation Practice:

This series invites us into one honest conversation each week with someone in our family or close relational circle—beginning not with fixing, defending, or explaining, but with listening.

Each week, practice:

• Naming one family pattern without managing or minimizing it
  
  
• Listening without correcting or self-protecting
  
  
• Praying about your family before trying to change your family
  
  

This is slow work. And that’s the point. Formation happens over time, not overnight.

Series Synopsis

PERFCT is for anyone who’s ever scrolled past flawless family photos and thought, “Yeah… not us.”

Behind every highlight reel are real people—marriages that take work, parenting that feels more like prayer than plan, and family legacies that carry both beauty and brokenness. Scripture doesn’t sanitize these realities, and neither does this series.

Across four weeks, we look honestly at families—David’s, ours, and the ones we’re shaping right now. We’ll explore how dysfunction is often transmitted unintentionally, how silence can echo louder than words, and how grace doesn’t just heal individuals but systems, stories, and generations.

There are no perfect families. But there is perfect grace.

And that grace tells a better story than the one we inherited.

🧭 Series Roadmap

Week

Date

Sermon Title

Scripture Focus

Key Theme

1

Jan 4

Perfect Family

2 Samuel 13:1–20;
Psalm 51

Even the most faithful families were flawed.

2

Jan 11

Perfect Marriage

Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:21–33

Happiness in marriage comes on the way to holiness.

3

Jan 18

Perfect Parents

Colossians 3:20–21

We’re raising people, not performers.

4

Jan 25

Perfect Kids

Proverbs 22:6; Matthew 18:1–6

God wants our kids formed, not fixed.

📚 Recommended Reading

On King David & the Psalms

Resources that move past “Sunday School David” into the full, human story.

• Leap Over a Wall — Eugene Peterson
  
  Why it’s helpful: The definitive theological portrait of David’s humanity—deeply flawed, deeply loved.
  
  
• The Cry of the Soul — Dan Allender & Tremper Longman
  
  Why it’s helpful: Uses the Psalms (especially Psalm 51) to explore shame, anger, jealousy, and repentance.
  
  

Family Systems & Generational Health

Tools for understanding how patterns move through families.

• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality — Peter Scazzero
  
  Why it’s helpful: Introduces “going back to go forward” and practical tools like genograms.
  
  
• Generation to Generation — Edwin Friedman
  
  Why it’s helpful: The foundational work on Family Systems Theory, differentiation, and the “mobile effect.”
  
  
• Anatomy of the Soul — Curt Thompson
  
  Why it’s helpful: Connects neuroscience, trauma, attachment, and spiritual healing through being known.
  
  

For Parents & Cycle Breakers

Practical guides for changing the narrative at home.

• Habits of the Household — Justin Whitmel Earley
  
  Why it’s helpful: Turns theology into daily family rhythms—especially at bedtime and mealtimes.
  
  
• Raising Emotionally Strong Boys — David Thomas
  
  Why it’s helpful: Essential reading for helping boys process anger, shame, and grief in healthy ways.

🎧 Podcasts & Messages

• The Place We Find Ourselves — Adam Young
  
  Recommended series: “Story” — on family of origin and spiritual formation
  
  
• The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill — Episode: The Brand
  
  Why it’s helpful: Explores charisma without character—mirroring David’s later years
  
  
• Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast — Pete Scazzero
  
  
• FamilyLife Today

🧠 Key Concepts & Practices

Spiritual Practices to Try

• Name the Echo: Identify one generational pattern that needs to be acknowledged—not managed.
  
  
• Gospel Differentiation: Stay connected without being controlled. Respond instead of reacting.
  
  
• Audit Your Circle: Are your voices helping you grow or keeping you comfortable?
  
  

Anchor Prayer (when family dynamics flare):

“Jesus, help me stay present without losing myself.”

Key Terms

• The Mobile Effect — When tension in one part of the family system shifts the whole structure
  
  
• Generational Echo — Patterns passed down unless intentionally interrupted
  
  
• Differentiation — The ability to stay connected without being emotionally fused
  
  
• Grace — God’s power to heal people and systems over time
  
  

🙌 Community & Next Steps

• Serve on a Team
  
  
• Invite a friend or family member to attend Alpha starting this month
  
  
• Consider counseling or spiritual direction as a faithful next step
  
  

Weekly Challenge:

“This week, I will name one pattern God may be asking me to stop transmitting.”

✍️ Reflection & Prayer Prompts

• What did your family teach you to hide instead of heal?
  
  
• Where might silence be doing more damage than honesty?
  
  
• What would it look like to begin with your heart instead of changing others?
  
  

Prayer

Jesus,

You know the weight we carry from our families and our pasts.

Create in us clean hearts.

Heal what we’ve inherited.

Change what we’re tempted to transmit.

Give us courage to be honest

and grace to begin again—with You at the center.

Amen.

📌 Notes

Use this space to capture insights, questions, names, or next steps God brings to mind during the series.

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